Matthew 6:12, 14-15 … and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. … For if you forgive others their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Forgiveness is at the center of Christian life. One becomes a Christian through forgiveness of sins made possible by the death and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. As a Christian we are called to be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). Just as Jesus sacrificed that we might be forgiven we are required to forgive others even if it is a sacrifice on our part.
Notice that Jesus taught us to ask God to forgive us as we forgive others. This means we are told to hold up the way we forgive as the standard that we should ask God to use when forgiving us. Are you comfortable with God forgiving you with the same measure that you forgive those who sin against you? Do you want God to forgive you completely? Do you forgive others completely?
Jesus goes on to state in verses 14 and 15 that if we do forgive others, God will forgive us. However, if we refuse to forgive someone, God will withhold forgiveness from us. That is not my interpretation of what Jesus said. That is His clear, direct statement.
We need to examine ourselves. Are we holding unforgiveness in our heart? Is there anyone who has hurt you so bad that you are unwilling to forgive them? If you answer “yes”, then Jesus clearly says that you have not been forgiven. It is a frightening thought.
Forgiveness is often a sacrifice. It can be painful at first. Holding someone’s sin against them can feel good … for a while. But God calls us to love one another and love covers sin (1 Peter 4:8).
Why does God demand that we forgive? There are three reasons. First of all forgiveness brings reconciliation which leads to unity. The devil wants division because division makes the Church weak. Forgiveness brings strength to the body of Christ.
Secondly, God wants what is best for us. Forgiving others is best for our mental, emotional, and physical health. Holding on to grudges and anger breeds bitterness which is poison to our spirit and soul. Medical professionals are in agreement that bitterness has serious adverse effects on every aspect of our health.
Finally, as I mentioned earlier, it makes us more like Jesus who is the model we should pattern our life after.
Have you heard the phrase, “Forgive and Forget”? Well, the Bible tells us to forgive, but it never talks about forgetting. We are to actively forgive. Forgetting may come later as a result of our forgiveness but we are not called to actively forget. If someone has sinned against you it is not wrong to be careful in your dealings with them. That is called wisdom.
For example, if someone steals from you then it is wise to take precautions to keep them from doing so again. Or if someone lies to you it is wise to verify what they tell you afterwards. That is not a lack of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a cancelling of the debt the person owes you for the offense they committed. You no longer expect anything from them to make the relationship right. Your forgiveness has made the relationship right. A relationship being right does not mean that you trust the person. Perhaps in time they can re-earn your trust. For a while though, wisdom dictates that you be careful.
Forgiving is not easy, but it is necessary. It is also liberating, both for us and the person we forgive.
God, please give me a forgiving heart. Give me the strength to choose to forgive even when I do not want to. Increase the love in my heart and cause me to see others as You see them. Let me forgive others in the way I want You to forgive me.