Matthew 18:15-17 ESV If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But, if he does not listen to you, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen to even the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
This passage is usually viewed as being about church discipline, and that is certainly one aspect of it, but there is much more to it than just disciplining wayward congregants. This passage is a comprehensive work on keeping unity within relationships among Christians.
We know it is about Christian relationships because the opening phrase says, “If your brother …” The instructions given in these three verses are meaningless if applied to relationships outside the church.
Also, notice that the assumption is that sin is what harms relationships. This passage instructs us what to do if another Christian sins against us. Sin is a very specific thing. Sin is breaking one of God’s commands. This passage does NOT say, “If your brother offends you … or if your brother hurts your feelings.” Other passages cover those things.
Please notice, that if your brother sins against you, you have only one course of action available. You are required to go and tell him about it. Telling your brother is a command, not a suggestion. Failing to go to your brother would be breaking a command Jesus gave you and therefore, would itself be a sin on your part. Why, because your brother has sinned, which hinders his relationship with God, and we are responsible to help our brother get rid of that hinderance. You are not given the option of simply forgiving and forgetting because that would be doing your brother a disservice.
The desired outcome of your talk is that the brother listens and repents (changes). If that happens, the matter is settled. There is no need to bring anyone else into the picture. After all, the goal is to bring the one who is sinning back into unity with God and the Body of Christ.
However, if the brother refuses to repent, take one or two people along to lovingly confront him. The purpose of this step is twofold. First of all, you may be incorrect. Sin may not have been committed. The input of one or two others may show you your error. Secondly, if sin is an issue, having two or three people point it out may be enough to convince the one committing the sin to turn away from it.
If no repentance happens, the third step is “tell it to the church.” Some people interpret this to mean announce it to the whole congregation. While that does follow the literal meaning, I believe bringing the matter before the church leaders is more in line with the ‘spirit’ of the passage. Perhaps the person will respect the teaching of the pastor and/or elders.
Once all avenues to encourage repentance as exhausted, the fourth step is to treat them as a “Gentile or a tax collector.” Many people interpret this as meaning to expel the person from the church. I disagree.
Jesus’ audience would have understood “Gentile and tax collector” to mean a non-believer, someone who was not a part of the synagogue (church). How are Christians supposed to treat non-believers? We are to love them, pray for them, care for them, and draw them to God. While we shouldn’t allow them to be in leadership or active ministry, we should encourage them to attend church and participate. We should want them to be around God’s people and experience God’s love.
It is true that Paul instructed the Corinthian church to expel one man for a particularly heinous sin (1 Corinthians 5:1-5), but I believe that was a very specific situation. We should always be led by the Holy Spirit and if He directs the church to extreme measures, then by all means, obey. As a rule, though, Christians should be drawing people towards God, not pushing them away.
Lord, You love it when Your people live in unity. Give me the heart and humility to do whatever is necessary to keep sin from driving a wedge into Your body.